恭喜！你终于决定放弃你的社交媒体成瘾。我们确信您将享受摆脱社交媒体带来的压力的生活，但您可能会感受到一些残余的冲动。
没有一个习惯是一夜之间就能轻易改掉的，所以你可以做一些事情来帮助平息拿出手机的冲动，克服你对社交媒体的退缩。
与随机(Random)陌生人争论
没有社交媒体，你怎么让人们知道他们错了？如果您觉得有必要与一个完全陌生的人发生争执，为什么不去当地的公园或餐馆(park or restaurant)听听其他人的讨论呢？
这是用“但实际上”打断他们并解释他们为什么愚蠢而你是对的完美的地方。请注意，人们在现实生活中的打击比在网上要大得多，但除此之外，这实际上是一回事。
要真正获得真实的体验，请务必随身携带您的手机或（以防万一）实际的百科全书(encyclopedia handy)。如果他们决定走开，您不必跟随新的辩论伙伴。那是你赢了的标志。好工作！
(Stick Polaroids)将食物的(Your Food)宝丽来贴在公告(Bulletin)板上
如果你不能先向人们展示食物有多棒，那么吃食物又有什么意义呢？如果您在离开 'gram 后对自己的用餐感觉有点不满意，何不投资购买一台即时宝丽来风格的相机(instant Polaroid-style camera)，并将这些照片钉在布告栏和人们可能会看到的其他公共场所。你甚至可以四处闲逛听听他们的评论。
如果您想在预算内保持您的美食摄影爱好(food photography hobby)，您可以在餐厅闲逛并询问人们是否可以在您开始之前快速拍摄他们的食物。
向人们发送不适当的邮件
你有没有发现一个让你喜欢的人，但你不能再因为你放弃了而滑入他们的DM中？(DMs)不要绝望！你仍然可以选择在纸上写一封完全正常、令人毛骨悚然、不恰当的信。把它放在一个信封里，然后把它滑进他们的邮箱。
如果您想真正提高效率，只需复印一封信和地毯炸弹(letter and carpet bomb)，尽可能多地与您的招揽潜在的生活伴侣。毕竟，你掷骰子的次数越多，你中大奖的可能性就越大！
买扩音器
社交媒体退出的一个迹象是感觉有点孤独，没有整个世界听到你的每一个随机想法。事实证明，有一项技术可以做几乎相同的事情。您需要做的就是订购一个漂亮的扩音器( megaphone)，然后选择任何看起来舒服的街角。(street corner)在某个地方可以站着让你的声音更好地传播会更好。
通过这种方式，您可以将您的任何和所有重要意见都发布到公共领域。让世界人民从您对时事的独特看法中受益。(world benefit)更好的是，当警察最终出现时，你也会和他们站在一起，因为你的扩音器和他们的扬声器应该是势均力敌的。
潜伏在公共场所
潜伏者是社交媒体的主要内容。这些奇怪的人喜欢看，自己从不参与任何事情。信不信由你，潜伏实际上是一种优良传统，早于社交媒体很长一段时间。因此，如果您是在线冠军潜伏者(champion lurker online)，则可以在摆脱数字习惯后继续练习自己的爱好。
有很多地方可以潜伏。公交(Bus)车站、地铁、便利店前，不胜枚举。一定要为这个场合着装，这样每个人都知道你不热衷于互动。长款风衣(Long trench coats)是经典款，还有一顶帽子和一副深色太阳镜。跳过几次淋浴也是一个有效的专业提示。
拿杂志(Magazine)参加社交聚会(Social Gatherings)
社交媒体是一种完美的方式，可以忽略那些与您坐在桌旁的人，而支持您在现实生活中从未见过的人的来来往往。好消息是，在Twitter成为 Jack Dorsey 眼中的闪光点之前，通过粗鲁地无视他们将他们拒之门外是一门艺术。
你需要做的就是在包里装一本杂志或报纸，然后在谈话的中间把它拿出来。(magazine or newspaper)事实上，这比被Twitter分心要好得多，因为你甚至不必发出咕哝的声音来假装你在听。当你的鼻子牢牢地停留在八卦专栏(gossip column)中时，你的“朋友”不可能不大声而清晰地得到消息。
购买匿名面具
社交媒体最好的事情之一是您可以选择使用假名和个人资料，让您在不(fake name and profile)知道(anyone knowing)您真实身份的情况下说和做您想做的事。如果您想念这种匿名性，请考虑购买具有标志性“匿名”面具之类的具有模因价值的面具(“Anonymous” mask)。这肯定会让人们知道你不想让他们知道你是谁。
实际上不要做任何这些事情！
到目前为止，您可能已经发现这些都不是真正的建议！什么样的行为在网上完全没问题，但在现实生活中无疑令人毛骨悚然，这不是很奇怪吗？适度的社交媒体很好，如果你以健康的方式使用它，但它的设计方式也会让人们最坏的一面。
如果社交媒体让你的生活变得更糟(life worse)，而不是更好，你真的应该考虑从你的生活中减少或消除社交媒体。成瘾中心(Addiction Center)等资源可以帮助您识别和处理社交媒体成瘾和戒断(addiction and withdrawal)，或社交媒体滥用对心理健康的负面影响。
7 Ways To Deal With Social Media Withdrawal
Congratulations! You’ve finally decided tо ditch your social media addiction. We’re sure you’re going to enjoy your life free of the pressures that social media can bring, but you might be feeling some residual urges.
No habit is easy to drop overnight, so here are some things you can do to help quiet the urge to whip out that phone and overcome your social media withdrawal.
Have an Argument With Random Strangers
Without social media, how are you going to let people know how wrong they are? If you’re feeling the need to have an argument with a total stranger, why not head over to a local park or restaurant and listen in on other people having discussions?
That’s the perfect place to interrupt them with a “but actually” and explain both why they’re dumb and you’re right. Do note that people punch much harder in real life than online, but otherwise it’s really the same thing.
To really get the authentic experience, be sure to have your phone or (for more intimidation) an actual encyclopedia handy. You don’t have to follow your new debate partners if they decide to walk away. That’s a sign that you’ve won. Good job!
Stick Polaroids of Your Food on Bulletin Boards
What’s the point of even eating food if you can’t show people how great that food is first? If you’re feeling a little unsatisfied with your meals since getting off the ‘gram, why not invest in an instant Polaroid-style camera and pin those pictures on bulletin boards and other public places people are likely to see them. You can even hang around to hear their comments.
If you want to keep up your food photography hobby on a budget, you can hang around restaurants and ask people if you can take a quick snap of their food before you dig in.
Send People Inappropriate Mail
Have you spotted someone who strikes your fancy, but you can no longer slide into their DMs because you’ve given up on that? Don’t despair! You still have the option of writing a perfectly normal, creepy, inappropriate letter on paper. Put it in an envelope and literally slide it into their mailbox.
If you want to be really efficient, just make photocopies of the one letter and carpet bomb as many potential life partners with your solicitations as possible. After all, the more times you roll the dice, the more likely you are to hit the jackpot!
Buy a Megaphone
One sign of social media withdrawal is feeling a little lonely without the entire world hearing your every random thought. It turns out there’s a piece of technology that does pretty much the same thing. All you need to do is order a nice megaphone and then pick any street corner that looks comfortable. Somewhere with something to stand on to let your voice carry a bit better would be preferable.
This way you can shout any and all of your important opinions into the public domain. Letting the people of the world benefit from your unique take on current events. Even better, when the police do eventually show up, you’ll be on even footing with them as well, since your megaphone and their loudspeaker should be evenly matched.
Lurk in Public Places
Lurkers are a staple of social media. These odd folk like to watch and never participate in anything themselves. Believe it or not, lurking is actually a fine tradition that predates social media by, well, by a long time. So if you were a champion lurker online, you can keep practicing your hobby after kicking the digital habit.
There are plenty of spots to lurk about. Bus stops, subways, in front of convenience stores, the list just goes on. Be sure to dress for the occasion so that everyone knows you’re not keen on interacting. Long trench coats are a classic, along with a cap and a pair of dark sunglasses. Skipping a few showers is an effective pro-tip as well.
Take a Magazine to Social Gatherings
Social media is the perfect way to ignore the people who are literally sitting at the table with you in favor of the comings and goings of people you’ve never met in real life. The good news is that shutting people in your immediate vicinity out by rudely ignoring them was an art before Twitter was a twinkle in Jack Dorsey’s eye.
All you need to do is pack a magazine or newspaper in your bag and whip it out in the middle of a conversation. In fact, this is way better than getting distracted by Twitter, since you don’t even have to make grunting noises to fake your listening. With your nose firmly stuck in the gossip column, there’s no way your “friends” won’t get the message loud and clear.
Buy an Anonymous Mask
One of the best things about social media is that you can choose to use a fake name and profile, letting you say and do what you want without anyone knowing who you really are. If you miss that anonymity, consider buying a meme-worthy mask featuring something like the iconic “Anonymous” mask. This is sure to let people know you don’t want them to know who you are.
Don’t Actually Do Any Of This Stuff!
By now you’ve probably figured out that none of this is real advice! Isn’t it weird what sorts of behavior are perfectly OK online, but are undoubtedly creepy in real life? Social media is fine in moderation and if you use it in a healthy way, but the way it’s designed can also bring out the worst in people.
If social media is making your life worse, rather than better, you really should consider cutting down or eliminating social media from your life. Resources such as the Addiction Center can help you recognize and deal with social media addiction and withdrawal, or the negative mental health consequences of social media abuse.
