“免费出狱”卡？ 

在如何不处理敏感数据的新闻中，英国政府正准备迎接一个充满后果的一周，因为它错位了一个关于其全部囚犯人口的数据库。哎呀^(Whoops)。

正如内政部^{(Home Office)}糟糕的公关人员所解释的那样，责任落在了一个丢失了记忆棒的承包商身上——这个记忆棒恰好保存着英格兰^(England)和威尔士^(Wales)每个囚犯的记录。澄清一下：不，它不是被盗的。没有涉及高科技黑客。那个家伙他妈丢了。

“呃，那件事很重要吗？我希望有人事先告诉我，”我们想象这个家伙结结巴巴，因为他意识到这不仅仅是一个有趣的矩形玩具，他摸索出来了。

那么为什么这很重要呢？好吧^(Well)，除了明显的问题之外，英国媒体现在推测它可以给有罪的囚犯一张“免费出狱”卡。如果发现处理不当的记忆棒的人决定共享数据——比如说，在那个叫做互联网的新奇设备上——^{(Internet —)}囚犯可能会声称他们不再能够得到公正的审判。律师说，让任何人都可以找到他们完整的犯罪历史，可以打开那扇门。

但这里也有一个更大的问题：无论出于何种原因，英国似乎已经形成了一种丢失重要信息的令人不安的趋势。到目前为止，政府仅 在过去一年就丢失了多达 400 万份个人记录^{(four million lost personal records)} ，其中大部分来自类似简单的磁盘或硬盘“错位”。在过去的几个月里，税务记录、征兵文件、驾驶考试结果和医疗图表都发生了消失的行为。

至少，我认为这已经消失了。我不积极。我一直在保存一个详细的数据库，但我不记得我把我该死的记忆棒放在哪里了。

Memo: Please Erase All Memories of Lost Memory

A “get out of jail free” card? 

In how-not-to-handle-sensitive-data news, the UK government is bracing for a week full of fallout after it kind of, well, misplaced a database of its entire prisoner population. Whoops.

As the poor public relations people at the Home Office explain it, the blame falls upon a contractor who lost a memory stick — one that happened to hold records for every single prisoner in both England and Wales. To clarify: No, it wasn’t stolen. There was no high-tech hack involved. The guy freakin’ lost it.

“Uh, was that thing important? I wish someone would have told me beforehand,” we imagine the fella stammered as he realized it wasn’t just a fun rectangle toy he’d fumbled.

So why is this a big deal? Well, outside of the obvious issues, British media outlets are now speculating that it could give guilty prisoners a “get out of jail free” card. If whoever finds the mishandled memory stick decides to share the data — say, on that fancy new apparatus called the Internet — inmates could claim they’re no longer able to get a fair trial. Having their full criminal histories floating around for anyone to find, lawyers say, could open that door.

But there’s a bigger problem here, too: the fact that for whatever reason, the UK seems to have developed a troubling trend of losing important information. So far, the government is up to four million lost personal records in the past year alone, most from similarly simple “misplacement” of disks or hard drives. Tax records, military recruitment files, driving test results, and medical charts have all done disappearing acts in the past months.

At least, that’s what I think has vanished. I’m not positive. I’d been keeping a detailed database, but I can’t remember where I put my damned memory stick.

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