您有多少次注意到与您交谈的人似乎被电话、PC 或智能手表分心？你觉得这个人没有完全融入对话，错过了他或她应该正确回应的细节，并给予更多关注。这就是所谓的Phubbing，它撕裂了家人和朋友之间的关系。
什么是触碰
科技(Tech)已经成为我们日常生活的一部分，我们允许它侵入隐私、注意力和一对一交谈很重要的地方。手机、个人电脑、智能手表(Smartwatch)，无论您身在何处，您一直在使用的任何东西。我们已经养成了在谈话间隙掏出手机的习惯，只是不断点头，看着手机并提供虚假的存在。这就是 Phubbing，它正在扰乱你当下的人际关系。
Phubbing 对个人关系意味着什么
我经历过这一切，它变得如此之深，以至于我开始与家人中的每个人断开连接(disconnecting from everyone in my family)。他们觉得我一直在无视他们，这不是我的本意，但后来我正在这样做。每天回到家，我都会抓起手机，随意查看东西，午餐时，早餐时，情况变得更糟。家人(Family)和朋友(Friend)需要与您共度时光，而我正忙于探索社交媒体以工作或娱乐。以至于它变成了慢性病。
影响人际关系，甚至影响您配偶的心理健康：(Affects relationships and even your Spouse mental health:)
将此视为被动吸烟(Passive Smoking)。当你没有给对方适当的时间时，你会感到被忽视，而夫妻本应给予对方的关注会转移到其他地方。你的伴侣可能会经历抑郁和婚姻满意度下降(Your partner may experience depression and lower marital satisfaction)。如果进入慢性水平，这可能会导致离婚。一个家庭需要关注，不是因为他们需要，而是因为他们应得的。
心理和身体健康：(Mental & Physical Health:)
这导致严重的颈部疼痛(severe neck pains)。一直低着头看手机，从长远来看确实会造成伤害。你甚至可能看不到它的到来。每次查看在现实生活中永远不会产生太大影响的东西时，您都会不断滚动。精神集中度如此之高，以至于您与现实世界完全隔绝，并导致事故发生。 (you get totally get cut off from the real world, and has lead to accidents. )
我感觉更糟了。在 我关闭手机后，要专注于其他事情或立即进行对话并不容易。(not really easy to concentrate)
如何停止 Phubbing
慢慢地，我意识到是因为我的家人开始不那么关心我了，因为我忙于自己，他们也想保持忙碌。在我寻求时间的时候，他们很忙，尝到了我自己的药的味道。最后，我不得不制定一些规则，并与您分享：
家里没有电话区(No Phone Zone at Home)
虽然完全取下它不是解决方案。所以我们想出了没有电话区。到家后，我在接下来的 3 个小时里一直挂着电话。 给(Gave)家人时间，谈论各种事情，日常家庭事务，和我儿子谈论他的一天，等等。电话放在另一个房间里，只有在有重要电话打进来时才有人接听。
我到处都在练习，并限制自己在家里和正常的办公日只使用手机 30 到 40 分钟。
没有朋友的电话区(No Phone Zone with Friends)
这更加困难，唯一的出路就是完全关闭铃声。把手机放在口袋里，如果觉得通话很重要，可以随时连接蓝牙(Bluetooth)耳机，接听电话。我总是确保当朋友见面时，每个人都把手机放在一边。我们总是尽量不拿出手机。
这并不容易。拿着手机，无缘无故查看的习惯。我不得不与收到信息的期望作斗争。这就像与吸烟的习惯作斗争一样好。
在个人层面上发展为无电话区(Evolve into a No Phone Zone on a personal level)
即使你把一切都放在一边，Phubbing在个人层面上也会伤害你。我们花在社交媒体上的时间并不值得，除非它与你的工作有关，而且它正在为你赚钱。你在那里度过的每一(Every)分钟都意味着，你没有做一些可以帮助你成长、学习生活中新东西的事情。想想看。
在我开始遵守规则后，我意识到情况正在改善。我的注意力更好了，我和家人沟通得很好。我能够讨论我一直想要的话题，但在 Phubbing 期间失去了它们。
在需要使用技术时使用它。掌握它，所以你控制它。(Use tech when you need to use it. Master it, so you control it.)
What is Phubbing and What it means for personal relations
How many times have you noticed that a person talking with you seems to be distracted either by phone or a PC or on their smartwatch? You feel the person is not completely into a conversation and misses out on details where he or she should have rеsponded рroperly, and with more аttention. This is what is called as Phubbing, and it’s tearing apart relationship between families and friends.
What is Phubbing
Tech has become part of our daily life, and we have allowed it to invade places where privacy, attention, and one to one person conversation is important. Phones, PCs, Smartwatch anything that you use all the time no matter where you are. We have grown a habit of pulling out our phone in between a conversation, and just keep nodding our heads, and looking at the phone and offering a false presence. This is Phubbing which is disrupting your present-moment, in-person relationships.
What does Phubbing mean for personal relations
I have been through this, and it went so deep that I started disconnecting from everyone in my family. They felt that I had been ignoring them, which was not my intention but then I was doing. Every day I reached back home, I would snag my phone, and check things randomly, while lunch, while breakfast, and it became worse. Family and Friend need their time with you, and I was busy exploring social media either for work or fun. So much that it became chronic.
Affects relationships and even your Spouse mental health:
Treat this like Passive Smoking. When you don’t give proper time to each other, you feel ignored, and the attention which spouses would have given to each other goes somewhere else. Your partner may experience depression and lower marital satisfaction. This could lead to divorce if taken into a chronic level. A family needs attention, not because they need it, but because they deserve it.
Mental & Physical Health:
It’s resulting in severe neck pains. Keeping your head lowered and looking at the phone all the time, does hurt in the long term. You might not even see it coming. You keep scrolling every time looking at stuff which would never make a lot of difference in real life. The mental concentration goes so high, that you get totally get cut off from the real world, and has lead to accidents.
I have felt even worse. It was not really easy to concentrate on something else or jump into a conversation right after I had kept my phone down.
How to stop Phubbing
Slowly, I realized because my family started giving me less attention because I was busy with myself and they wanted to stay occupied too. When I was seeking time, they were busy and got the taste of my own medicine. Finally, I had to lay down some rules, and I am sharing it with you:
No Phone Zone at Home
While taking it completely off wasn’t a solution. So we came up with no phone zones. I kept down my phone for next 3 hrs after I reached home. Gave time to family, talked about various things, daily family stuff, talked with my son about his day, and so on. The phone was kept in other room and was only to be attended when an important call came in.
I practiced this everywhere and restricted myself to use the phone only for 30 to 40 minutes when at home, and on a regular office day.
No Phone Zone with Friends
This was even tougher, and only way out was to turn down the ringer completely. Keep the phone in the pocket, and if you feel calls are very important, you can always connect with a Bluetooth earphone, and attend them. I always made sure that when friends meet, everyone kept our phones away. We always tried to not take out the phone at all.
It wasn’t really easy. The habit of holding the phone, checking on it for no reason. I had to fight my sense of expectation of getting a message. It’s as good as fighting the habit of smoking.
Evolve into a No Phone Zone on a personal level
Even if you keep everything aside, Phubbing is hurting you on a personal level. The time we are putting on social media is not really worth it unless its related to your work, and it’s making you money. Every minute you spend there means, you are not doing something which could help you grow yourself, learn something new in life. Think about it.
I have realized that things were improving after I started following the rules. My concentration was better, I was communicating well with my family. I was able to discuss topics which I always wanted by lost them during Phubbing.
Use tech when you need to use it. Master it, so you control it.
