成年后交朋友很难。大多数人在学校或大学(college)里建立了终生的友谊，但有很多原因导致您今天可能不再与这些朋友联系。
搬到一个新的城市，因为各种原因分道扬镳是很正常的。如果您现在发现自己没有朋友可以一起出去玩，那么在网上寻找友谊是一个可行的选择。然而，在这里，就像在离线世界中一样，如果您想结识新朋友，就必须正确地打牌。
因此，如果您想知道如何在网上结交朋友，这里有一些实用技巧可以帮助您实现这一目标。
你想要线上(Online)还是线下的(Offline) 朋友(Friends)？
您需要考虑的第一件事是，您是否主要想与只打算在网上闲逛的人交朋友，或者您是否想要最终的现实生活中的聚会。这很重要的原因是因为你只有这么多时间去追求友谊。
如果你想让现实生活中的会议保持开放，你需要关注那些你可以物理接触的人。比如和你住在同一个城市的人。
如果您只是在寻找建立数字笔友友谊的人，那么他们在世界上的哪个位置就不那么重要了。尽管您可能想寻找与您自己时区相似的人，但如果您想要任何实时交互的可能性。
远离浪漫
寻找网上交朋友和寻找你想约会并与之建立浪漫关系的人之间有很大的不同。
如果你说你正在寻找朋友作为浪漫的借口，那么你不仅不诚实，而且破坏了这两个目标。如果您正在网上寻找浪漫(looking for romance online)，请提前了解它并利用专门为此目的设计的在线空间。不要(Don)暗示自己进入人们只想闲逛并谈论他们的爱好或兴趣的在线空间。不要(Don)让它变得奇怪！
与您级别的人联系
共同(Shared)的兴趣、相似的生活经历和相似的生活方式都是建立有意义的关系的重要因素。这(Which)就是为什么您应该寻找在所有三个方面与您有大量相似之处的人。
它不仅为您提供了大量开始和保持联系的材料，还意味着您更有可能真正对对方产生兴趣，这为我们带来了下一个重要提示。
对他人(Person)感兴趣
没有什么比只谈论自己的人更令人反感的了。然而大多数人都喜欢这样做！无论是在现实生活中还是在网上，除非对方直接询问，否则不要谈论自己是一个很好的技巧。
与某人（在线或其他地方）交谈时，不要只是等待轮到你说话。注意他们所说的话，然后请他们详细说明。我们不是说你应该假装感兴趣，或者你应该过分审问他们，而是试着把它放在另一个人身上。
这不仅可以为您提供更多关于在线友谊是否可能或什至可取的信息，它还会让您喜欢另一个人。由于大多数人都喜欢谈论自己，你可以给他们很多这样做的机会，他们很可能会喜欢这样做。
对话中的自然点会发生，您可以在其中发表自己的意见(opinions)、观点和经验。它不应该超过交换的一半！
不要做一个蠕变
这可能是一个很好的一般生活提示，但在线蠕动因素可以快速结束正在萌芽的友谊。人们觉得什么令人毛骨悚然？一方面，在友谊的道路上走得太快，过度需要和散发出绝望的情绪都是让潜在朋友奔向山丘的必经之路。
最重要的是让关系自然发展。做一个善于交谈的人。在您与他人建立适当的信任水平之前，不要分享非常私人的事情或询问他们。最重要的是，不要对友谊附加明示或暗示的义务！
换句话说，只要对方需要，就保持随意。如果这意味着永久的在线友谊，那就这样吧。随意的和更深的友谊对你都有好处，可以并存。
使用柏拉图式的朋友应用程序
正如有一些应用程序可以帮助人们在网上找到爱情一样，实际上也有一些网站、应用程序和服务致力于帮助人们实现结交朋友的明确目标。这些应用程序的优点之一是它们禁止调情或其他与约会相关的活动。因此，如果您正在寻找朋友，它可以帮助过滤掉正在寻找其他东西的人。
Patook可能是最好和最集中的例子。它的工作原理很像约会应用程序，会显示潜在的匹配项，您可以在它们上向左或向右滑动。当有相互联系时，您将有机会打破僵局并开始聊天。
一旦你谈了一点，Patook会鼓励你把你的谈话带到另一个平台，甚至是现实生活中。它有效吗？实际上，我们已经和Patook结交了现实生活中的朋友！所以，随心所欲。
Bumble是另一个提供柏拉图式朋友服务的平台，但他们也提供传统的约会应用程序。仅限朋友的Bumble版本称为Bumble BFF，它提供了另一种方式来结识住在您附近的人，他们也想出去玩和结交朋友，而没有约会的压力！
安全和现实生活中的会议
因此，假设您在网上交了一个朋友，而你们俩都想在现实生活中见面的时候到了。这是一大步！在线会议(Meeting)是一回事，但在某人面前是非常不同的。
除了与所有人际关系相关的所有正常人类焦虑之外，您还有一层额外的安全问题。由于您无法确定您在网上遇到的人真的是他们所说的人，或者他们不是各种骗局(various scams)的一部分，例如鲶鱼。
这意味着当您第一次在现实生活中与您在网上结交的朋友见面时，采取明智的预防措施是很有意义的。这里有几个重要的：
- (Meet)在公共场所与周围的其他人会面。
- 带上朋友或家人。
- 让人们知道您在何时何地与您的在线朋友会面。
- 还要让他们知道这个人长什么样，叫什么名字。
你会想要获得一些第一手证据，证明你遇到的人确实是他们所说的那个人。你不必在这件事上过于明目张胆。例如，聊聊他们在哪里工作或正在学习什么。当然，您应该提供有关您自己的相同类型的信息，以建立对另一个方向的信任！
最重要的是相信你的直觉。如果您的面对面会议感觉不对劲，请不要犹豫离开！祝您在网上结交更多朋友！
How To Make Friends Online
Mаking friends as an adult is hard. Most people form lifelong friendships in school or college, but there are many reasons why you may no longer be in touch with those friends today.
Moving to a new city and drifting apart for various reasons are pretty normal. If you now find yourself without a buddy to hang out with, looking for friendship online is a viable option. Yet here, as in the offline world, you have to play your cards right if you’re looking to connect with new people.
So if you want to know how to make friends online, here are some practical tips to make it happen.
Do You Want Online or Offline Friends?
The first thing you need to consider is whether you mainly want to make friends with people online who you only plan to hang out with online or if you want eventual real-life meetups. The reason this matters is because you only have so much time to pursue friendships.
If you want to leave the possibility of real-life meetings open, you need to focus on people who are physically accessible to you. Such as those who live in the same city as you.
If you’re only looking for people to be in a digital pen-pal friendship, then it’s less important where in the world they are. Though you might want to look for people in a similar time zone to your own, if you want any possibility of a real-time interaction.
Keep Romance Out Of It
There’s a big difference between looking to make friends online and looking for people who you want to date and have a romantic relationship with.
If you say you’re looking for friends as a pretense for romance, then you’re not only being dishonest but also sabotaging both goals. If you’re looking for romance online, be upfront about it and make use of online spaces designed specifically for that purpose. Don’t insinuate yourself into online spaces where people just want to hang out and chat about their hobbies or interests. Don’t make it weird!
Connect With People On Your Level
Shared interests, similar life experiences and comparable lifestyles are all important factors in building meaningful relationships. Which is why you should look for people who share a significant amount of similarity with you in all three areas.
Not only does it give you plenty of material to initiate and maintain contact, it also means you’ll be more likely to genuinely take interest in the other person, which brings us to the next important tip.
Take an Interest in the Other Person
There’s nothing more off-putting than someone who only talks about themselves. Yet most people like to do it! In both real life and online, it’s a great trick to refrain from talking about yourself unless the other person asks directly.
When having a conversation with someone (online or elsewhere) don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Pay attention to what they’ve said and then ask them to elaborate. We’re not saying you should pretend to be interested or that you should go overboard and interrogate them, but try to make it about the other person.
Not only does this give you more information about whether an online friendship is possible or even desirable, it will endear the other person to you. Since most people like to talk about themselves, you can give them plenty of opportunities to do so and they’ll most likely enjoy doing it.
Natural points in the conversation where you can contribute your own opinions, views and experiences will happen. It just shouldn’t be more than half of the exchange!
Don’t Be a Creep
This is probably a good general life tip, but online the creep factor can bring a fast end to a budding friendship. What do people find creepy? For one thing, going too fast on the course of a friendship, being overly needy and radiating desperation are all surefire ways to send potential friends running for the hills.
The most important thing is to let the relationship evolve naturally. Be a good conversationalist. Don’t share incredibly personal things or ask them before you’ve reached an appropriate level of trust with the other person. Most importantly, don’t attach explicit or implied obligations to the friendship!
In other words, keep it casual for as long as the other person needs it to be. If that means a casual friendship online on a permanent basis, then so be it. Both casual and deeper friendships are good for you and can exist side-by-side.
Use Platonic Friend Apps
Just as there are applications to help people find love online, there are actually websites, apps and services dedicated to helping people meet with the explicit goal of making friends. One of the advantages of these apps is that they prohibit flirting or other dating-related activities. So if you’re looking for friends, it can help filter out people who are looking for something else.
Patook is probably the best and most focused example. It works a lot like a dating app, with potential matches showing up and you swiping left or right on them. When there’s a mutual connection, you’ll get an opportunity to break the ice and start having a chat.
Once you’ve talked a bit, Patook will encourage you to take your conversation onto another platform or even real life. Does it work? We’ve actually made real-life friends with Patook! So make of that what you will.
Bumble is another platform offering a platonic friend service, but they also offer a traditional dating app as well. The friends-only version of Bumble is called Bumble BFF and it offers another way to meet people who live in your neighborhood who are also looking to hang out and make friends, without the pressures of dating thrown in the mix!
Safety and Real-life Meetings
So let’s say you’ve made a friend online and the time comes when you both feel you want to meet in real life. This is a big step! Meeting online is one thing, but being in someone’s presence is very different.
On top of all the normal human anxieties that go with all interpersonal relationships, you also have an added layer of safety concerns. Since you can’t be sure the person you met online is really who they say they are or aren’t part of various scams, such as catfishing.
Which means it makes a lot of sense to take sensible precautions when meeting a friend you made online in real life for the first time. Here are a few important ones:
- Meet in a public place with other people around.
- Take a friend or family member with you.
- Let people know when and where you’re meeting your online friend.
- Also let them know what this person looks like and what their name is.
You’ll want to get some first-hand evidence that the person you’re meeting is really who they say they are. You don’t have to be too blatant about this. Chat about where they work or what they’re studying, for example. Of course, you should offer the same sort of information about yourself to build trust in the other direction!
The most important thing is to trust your gut. If something feels off about your in-person meeting, don’t hesitate to leave! Good luck making more friends online!
